And he left!

All those who we meet are meant to leave but in different ways & situations. Meanwhile, I forgot it until he left me. We humans forget that we have to part from our beloved ones despite how close we are to them! Our closeness to them does not always compel them to stay in our lives!

I wonder how a person close to your heart can leave you while he knows his worth in your life! How can he shatter the heart of whom he is the resident! I wish the moment he left me was actually the moment he left me! Because he was just within me; gone nowhere! 

He still floats in the air I breathe. His memories do not let me believe his departure. His presence all around cannot be denied. This is the worst that does not allow me to live a life devoid of him; a life without a single trace of his reminiscence. Alas! we cannot escape from one’s thoughts & memories especially the close ones. We are caged in memories of that person and we cannot break away from these even if we endeavor to! I’m trapped in his memories. Not every but most of the moments remind me of him.

What I found was that the person whom we long for; whom we cannot forget even trying at our best; whom we cannot separate from our souls; without whom the world is just meaningless, does not possess a single emotion like what we are going through; he does not share a single feeling of all those feelings that are breaking us within. These are we who suffer not they!

But what matters is that we want that person not anyone else even if they are better than that person in all aspects! People think that you’ll get over it when you find someone better than that person but they are wrong. We do not want someone better or worse; we just want that person in our life. So similarly I wanted him to stay in my life forever. Alas! we do not have any control over it & cannot force someone to stay!

Sometimes we just need someone to ask us to stay in life and he knows that we cannot part with him. Just a few words are needed to melt us because nothing is more valuable than him.

The moment he left me was the hardest, in both ways, to believe & to bear. It was tough to realize that he could leave me so earlier, not even asking me to stay in his life. It seemed that as if I were nothing to him & a life without me would not make a significant difference. How can one you are so close to; one who u care far more than yourself; one who blurs all others in your life, leave you so earlier without any reluctance despite knowing what you mean to him. But at that time, I was surrounded by feelings of helplessness & impuissance!

He was lost in seconds! Just as I winked my eyes for a moment & he disappeared. I wish I were dead at that moment. His departure caused an emptiness in me. One whom I gathered in moments, days & months did not stop! And he left, in a manner that shattered my soul into several pieces, leaving me as I were before but broken!

Posted: 26 Dec 2020

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Jawad

Joined in Dec 2020